3.16.2012

My sweet Emersyn...

Emersyn-

As I sit and write this, I really can't believe that you will no longer "officially" be the baby of the family. Part of me wants to apologize for taking this role away from you so soon but the other part of me can't wait to watch you fill the role of "big" as well as "little".

Right now, I want to take the time to tell you exactly what you are to our family from even before this moment...



...you have been our miracle. Our reminder that His plan is better and more perfect than any we could think of on our own.

Your dad and I were ready to expand our family in mid 2009. We easily got pregnant and were expecting a baby to arrive in March 2010 - exactly 2.5 years after your brother was born. It was "perfect". Then on July 29, 2009 - I had a miscarriage. The days and weeks that followed were some of the saddest I have known.

I felt defeated. Unworthy. Confused. Disappointed. Unfaithful.

But God is bigger than that and on September 10, 2009 two little lines appeared - YOU.

All that pain, all that confusion, all that hurt and sadness - I would relive over and over again because in the end - it brought you to our family. His plan really is divine and I see that each and every day in your smile, I hear it in your laugh and your ever expanding vocabulary. I see it when you discover something new and watch you grow bigger every day. Yes, that pain was more than worth enduring.

You were meant to be our little girl and Radley's little sister. Watching the two of you together is the most beautiful sight and hearing the two you of laugh is sweeter than any symphony. From the moment he saw you, I knew that y'all would be best friends.



And while not all moments are joyous and you two can exhibit a little sibling rivalry, the connection you have with him makes me excited to see you as a "big" sibling. I wonder what you will give, teach, and impart on your sibling. I dream about the games you will create and the laughter that you will share.

These past {almost} two years have been such joy. From the moment you arrived you blessed us with your sweet personality. Growing from an angel baby to a toddler filled with personality has been a gift to witness. Each day you teach me something new, each day you bring a smile to my face and each moment you make my heart grow with love.

I was worried that I wouldn't "do enough" for you - always trying to make sure that whatever was done for Radley would be done for you for no other reason than to make sure you know just how extremely loved you are. Many people talk about the "middle child" and the more I think about it - some pretty awesome things are in the "middle"...
  • the cream of an oreo
  • the peanut butter and jelly of a sandwich
  • my favorite finger ;)
  • pie filling
  • tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop
  • spring and summer
and you. 

Our middle miracle. 

The one that will always remind me that God's greatest gifts are the ones we can never plan for. These gifts are given freely and should be received with grace and thankfulness. I am thankful for you about 8208 times a day. When you wake up and turn on your music to let us know you are ready to conquer the day. When you look up and say "cheese" for a camera. When you ask what "that" is. When you give us hugs and kisses. When I sneak in your room to watch you sleeping. 

I am reminded in all of those moments that He knows much better than I just exactly what I need in my life. He knew that I needed you - and I hope that you always know just how needed you are. 

Yes, sweet girl - you are our miracle indeed.

We love you -
Mom and Dad

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