8.07.2014

Tiny Tales Thursday...

I una wock.

or

I want to rock.

All three of my kids have uttered those words. Radley until the night before he got his big boy room at age 2 and 7 months. Emmy until we moved the rocker from her room to Landry's at age 19 months and Landry still today.

I una wock.

I don't know if there are sweeter words to my ears. It's one of the last parts of "baby" that she has left in her and I'm not ready for that to end. I love those last few moments in the day that are filled with peace and rest... no matter my day, no matter my stress... everything just fades away in those moments and I am reminded of this one chance we have to get them being little.

It fades. It literally feels as if the tiny is torn from us. Taken away by growing up. And while growing up is fun and has it's advantages... I am no fool to believe that I won't miss the "little". The sticky fingers and crazy hair. The crumbs on her face and chair. The every ounce of mess that she is... will be missed.

So often I catch glimpses of Radley's little... him asking me to lay next to him. When he grabs my hand and lets go and then grabs it again because he's not quite sure if he's ready to really  let go. How he tries to still fit in my lap when we are reading instead of just sitting next to me.

The way Emmy asks me to hold her every.single.night for any amount of time. Needing us. Wanting us. Asking to be carried into school. Coming into our room to say good night "one more time".

All of these things that can feel exhausting are really just gifts.

They really won't be little forever. She won't always want to rock.

All too soon, she will merely come up to me, graze my cheek with hers and say, "'Night, Mom. I'm going to bed." And walk away.

She won't need her taggie or kitty cat. She won't want to push the button to her music. Twice. And she won't say "hold you" and point to the chair and say, "I una wock." She won't wrap her arms around my neck and twist my hair around her finger, moving her head from shoulder to shoulder until she's comfortable, and rest there until she's so tired she either falls asleep or asks to go "night night".

No, they won't be little forever.

But. They will always be mine.


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